is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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