The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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