i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Randomize
