I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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