he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
