so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
