She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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