How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
