what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She said her name was "party"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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