sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
