He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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