i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize