I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
