I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
