Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
