C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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