so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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