well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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