his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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