It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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