Don't you send me to vm
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
