You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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