I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
