I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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