Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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