I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
