some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
