He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Even my vagina gasped.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
