it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
