Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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