You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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