why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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