Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
