i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize