Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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