this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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