No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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