his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
