some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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