4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't deserve a penis
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
