So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize