# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
