btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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