y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize