Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
