how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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