Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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