:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
