By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
