Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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