Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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