some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
