Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it glows. i had to have it.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Who died my cat blue again?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
