My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
