Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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