i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
