My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I need moral support for this bender
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
