he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
