He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
