don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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