In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize