If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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