Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
