And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
