I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
