Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
