Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
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