Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
