Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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