sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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