Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
